Are you shy, with loads of fear when it comes to expressing yourself? Or do you display false confidence while crumbling on the inside? Or are you authentically confident?
Everyone is born with confidence – nurture it!
Have you ever met someone who, when given an opportunity to speak or any other thing, they do it with so much ease? They seem to go after everything unafraid and confidently. And you think to yourself, “but how do they do it? How are they so confident?”
I know at some point most of us have been that person wishing and wondering why we are not confident enough? I know they say some people are born confident but I believe that we all are.
If you look back at your childhood and trace your steps, I’m convinced you can point out multiple instances where you were simply fearless and ready to embrace anything. What was your first day of school like? How did you interact around strangers? How did you take on challenges? Were you ever one of those children who danced to entertain relatives at family functions and to show their gratitude and amusement, they gave you sweets or carried you? Hahahahaha I was one of those kids. I know that if you are honest with yourself, you’ll realize that there’s a certain innocence with which you approached life when you were much younger.
That inner unshakable confidence we are born with seems to slowly get dimmer for some as they go through different disappointments or challenges in life. While those experiences shake you to the core, that doesn’t necessarily mean your confidence has been taken away all together. What you have been through pushed you to tuck it away and stop cultivating it. You believed a lie that you do not have confidence. Indeed, before long, you find yourself in a bubble of being timid and walking around in the shambles of shame and self-doubt that leads to a low self-esteem and shyness.
And for others, you find yourself going through life under so many facades. Trying to keep up appearances when deep down your confidence is wanting. Take for example the analogy of a hardboiled egg and a raw one. Both look okay from the outside and you can’t really tell what’s on the inside. It is until they are both cracked that their true nature is exposed. The raw one being runny on the inside and the boiled one being solid on the core. Those are the two kinds of confidence that different people tend to portray – the real authentic, intrinsic confidence and the false, fake pseudo confidence.
From the outside, both seem to have it all together but on the inside only one possesses that confidence that is firm from within. I know you might be asking yourself, “how can I know if my confidence is not grounded?’’. Well, wonder no more. Some of the tell-tell signs are not hard to miss. For starters you will know that below the apparent confidence, deep down the thoughts of self-doubt, anxiety and pretense that lie underneath.
You may also find yourself in a constant race of seeking validation from people and wanting them to convince you that you are worthy. If you indeed were, then I guess you wouldn’t doubt it. And while that’s a natural human process to go through, I hope that these signs will lead you to a place of soul-searching and building a solid foundation of walking confidently in who you truly are.
When you read 2 Timothy 2;1, you’ll realize that when God created us, fear was not one of His deposits in us. Fear is the enemy’s deception tool and so why should you let it rule your life and hold you back? It’s the root of your confidence crisis. We have let fear in and given it a comfortable seat. God didn’t put fear in you.
Let’s talk about intrinsic confidence for a bit. This is the kind that flows from within and doesn’t seek for extra validation or external affirmation. The one where you know that you know what you embody is a given and that it can’t be taken away. The true source of real confidence is only God. It gets shaken the minute we try to do life on our own without God and let the world and our experiences define our truth for us.
Someone who is intrinsically confident will constantly walk held high regardless of what people say or think. Even when they are down and crying, they understand that whatever is happening doesn’t define who they really are! They know for sure that their true identity is in God and nothing can shake that. They are also intentional about working on their growth journey. They view challenges as stepping stones and not as setbacks. Above all, they see themselves just as God sees them.
Let that truth sink in. Yes, the fact is some things will be scary but let that usher you in to the confident loving arms of God who empowers and strengthens you – the God who perfects you and everything concerning you.
We know all these truths so what has caused you to live outside the authenticity of who God made you? Dig deep and uproot those underlying issues. It is about time we un-seat fear and allow authentic confidence to take that comfortable spot in our lives. Replace whatever lie you have believed about yourself with God’s truth. Only He can refine us to live in the true identity of who He created us to be. Beings embroidered with His power, love and sound mind. It’s time to find out from God’s Word what He has deposited in you and walk confidently in that.
For the shy ones, cultivate the confidence within; for the falsely confident, remove the mask, deal with inner issues and cultivate intrinsic confidence; For those walking in true confidence, kudos! Keep on keeping on as you celebrate wholeness!
